You probably already know that the first stages of a love affair are called the 'honeymoon period'. Usually, this is the first year, but it can even be the first few months of your relationship. Your love is still new, and you still feel that excitement and anticipation about each other. The butterflies, the sweaty palms, and the delight and flutter of new kisses. You want to learn everything there is to know about each other. You put each other on a pedestal.
But see...then you do. You start to see each other in a different light...without the blinders that new love brings. Your love evolves from exciting and new to familiar and comfortable. This is natural...there's nothing wrong with this. But too often, we think that when the butterflies go away it means there's a problem. We start to wonder if this person is really right for us after all. I mean, if he was, wouldn't I still be excited to see him? Wouldn't I still want to dress up for her?
Thing is, this is just the honeymoon period turning in to the relationship. We go from idealizing our new love, to really getting to know a person as a person, warts and all. And once we're worrying about
Talk About It
I don't mean you should sit down and have deep talks about your relationship and what's wrong with it. In fact, that's probably the worst thing you could do! I mean start using talk time as a way to bond with and understand each other. It doesn't have to be about important things.
Think back to when you first got together. Remember how you'd talk for hours about nothing? That's what I mean. You wanted to know everything about them, about their day, their work, their life. Rekindle that closeness and engage them in light, friendly chat. Tell him a funny story about your day. Ask her about that co-worker who drives her crazy. Ask their opinion about something you saw on the news. Get the conversation flowing between you.
Do Something Different
One of the greatest bonding experiences is going through a new experience together. Think back to when you first met...everything you did together was new. But it wasn't the activities that were new, was it? Everything felt new, because your relationship was new. Now that it isn't, you can get that feeling back by trying new things together.
It doesn't have to be extreme, like bungee jumping. Trying new foods, taking a class together, even going to places you haven't been to before gives you something to go through together. Anything that takes you out of your familiar routine can jump-start passion.
Do Unto Others
Remember when you first started dating, and you were constantly doing things for your lover that would make them happy? When was the last time you did something out of the blue, just because you loved them?
Okay, fine...they haven't done anything for you either...so why should you? You've probably heard the saying 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you'. Or, 'treat others as you want to be treated.' Well, this applies big time to relationships. If you're feeling sad or angry because your woman never surprises you with dinner anymore, or your man never brings home flowers anymore...guess what? If you start doing those things first, your partner will start doing it too.
Why? Because people have a natural tendency to return a nice gesture with another nice gesture. So don't wait around for your partner to do something that proves their love to you. YOU start the process, and do for them first.
But What If It's Too Late?
Well, in my experience there's no such thing. But what if you're trying, and your partner isn't responding? Then it's time for a whole new approach.
Don't give up just because you feel like you're the only one who wants to work at the relationship. You need to understand that there are specific things you can do to turn the situation around, even if you're on the brink of divorce...and they're psychological things that most people haven't been taught, so you can't be expected to know them.
If you want to learn how to stop a breakup and make your relationship even better and more real that it was in the 'honeymoon period', visit http://www.SecondChanceAtLove.info for your first step towards falling back in love and saving your relationship.
Carrie Bradford is a matchmaker and relationship/dating coach who has survived more breakups (and friends' breakups) than she'd care to remember. Her claim to relationship fame: she successfully reunited with her husband after a two-year separation and a whole lotta mess. They've been happily married now for over 13 years. Carrie is currently working on an ebook, which will be available...well, whenever she manages to finish it (she's crossing her fingers on this one.)
